Published Under Legal Notices in my Local Newspaper:
To Whom it May Concern (Re: Bank Account Nos 123, 456, and 890,
Social Security Account # 123-45-6789, and various IRAs/401Ks):
This is to inform you that from this day forward, I am no
longer responsible for any debts incurred by the United States
of America (DOB as B. H. Obama).
The above-referenced accounts are currently held in my name.
In order to avoid any potential problems, I am requesting
that you close my current accounts and open new accounts (in
Swiss Francs, gold, silver, and small-arms ammunition) solely
in my name.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. If you
require my signature on any forms, please forward the
paperwork necessary to my office, and I will return it to
Disgruntled Citizen and Former Taxpayer
P.S. Barack -- Your stuff is on the front lawn in a big pile.
P.P.S. I've changed the locks. Don't call me.
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